What a month - so much has happened and I'm too pooped to write (as usual) so I'll write some streams of thought here and maybe fill in more later!
We had a beautiful day for our first Family Birthday Party 09.05.09. We were surprised that most people could make it on Labor Day weekend - we all met in the park in the morning, the kids played on the playground, the grown-ups chatted, everybody had popcorn and cake, and I was once again so grateful to be surrounded by most of the folks who have been so instrumental in supporting our family this past year. JCG was in his element in his little tie-dyed shirt and bare feet, sticking his fingers in his cake as every mischevious boy needs to do.
I was also touched by a surprise at JCG's daycare that week. I mentioned on 09.09.09 that it was our Family Day when I dropped him off in the a.m. When I picked him up, the staff had put together a congratulations banner with kids and adults signing their names, a cake, and a balloon bouquet. This was so unexpected and meant a lot to me. We laminated the banner and will keep it forever. I couldn't be happier with the Ancilla Center. He's doing great in his new pre-k classroom with Ms. Margaret and Ms. Angie Berry. This week he came home and said, "Ms. Angie Berry not here!" It was one of his first complete sentences.
One day I was told that JCG and another little girl, Claire, are thick as thieves. At the lunch table, Claire said to one of the teachers, "I think Joaquin likes me - he always plays with me and hugs me." The teacher said, "You're right, I think he does like you." Claire replied, "He's a lucky man."
The challenging part of the month comes next. After our celebration week, I noticed JCG was starting to get bug bites. By the a.m. of the 15th, they sent him home from school suspecting it was chicken pox. We checked it out with the Dr. and thankfully it wasn't that but it does give you some indication of how many there were all over his body, and they got red and puffy. I discovered we had fleas in the house, and long story short I think he was allergic to them.
In the process of cleaning the house like a crazy person to rid it of all dirt, dust, etc. in preps to spray for fleas, I discovered Carlos peed and pooped in my closet. This came the same day that we discovered Carlos was a carrier for fleas (obviously). Well, I draw the line when cats pee, based on my experience with Carlos' earlier brother Simon. I knew it was time to put him down. Carlos never really adjusted to JCG and I was afraid he would eventually bite him. I'd been going back and forth for months about whether/how to get rid of Carlos. So I felt Carlos did me a favor with the closet incident. It still took a couple more days to make the decision, but we took him to Wayside Waifs to be put down on the 18th. RIP Carlos. He was my faithful companion for 11 years, and I gotta say the last year was not a picnic, yet I have really good memories overall. JCG came with me when I took him in. I kept repeating that we were "sharing" Carlos because this is a concept JCG is learning about and understands really well. The staff there brought out a little stuffed dog and "shared" it with him. It was so kind. I was all business until they did that, and then I started to cry. So we walked around the pet cemetery awhile, JCG enjoyed his new stuffed puppy, and I grieved little Carlitos.
More drama than I care to mention has been going on with getting Special Ed services in place for JCG. Suffice it to say that I have a really good advocate in his new speech therapist. We had only met for about 4 sessions with his original therapist in the spring before the school year let out. We were assigned a much more experienced therapist this fall at a new school (Border Star Montessori) which happens to be one of the best schools in the KCMO district. One of the few good schools in the district is another way to say it. Our new therapist has been really helpful in having his IEP (Individualized Education Plan) amended so that he will now be categorized as a Child with Developmental Delays (CWDD, get it?). Bottom line this recognition will allow for more help with speech and occupational therapy, maybe physical therapy though with the latter his is really doing great. Whew.
I have to say that the one year marker has been bittersweet in some ways. We weathered his medical exams and surgeries, became attached as a family, and watched him blossom with a good diet and steady exercise for the first time in his life. He has grown physically, and is beginning to fit in more with his age group. At the same time, it has been a hard month in recognizing we still have quite a way to go developmentally. I think I was just so optimistic and grateful and taking care of "first things first" throughout that first year that I honestly didn't dwell on how much he really misses out on developmentally as he begins from scratch with a new language, and how much that impacts him overall. He isn't like other four year olds, and I'm learning not to compare him to other kids, at the same moment that I want so badly for him to be all caught up before he perceives himself as different. Who are we kidding, I just want the best for him, I don't want him to suffer for being different than his peers, and I need to be patient.
My "Ah-Ha" moment was when I took him to his first organized soccer team meeting. Keep in mind this was 20 teams of 4 yr olds, so it was generally chaotic. It was the first time most of these kids were exposed to the whole concept of a team, following directions as a group, etc. Pretty amusing on one level. On another level, Joaquin was clearly way more lost than everybody else. He ran from field to field, his attention span just wasn't there, he was more interested in how the pump works to blow up the ball, how you can get yourself caught up in the net, etc. etc. Words were flying fast and furious between the coaches and the players, and he just didn't get it. I was really frustrated and wanted to just WILL him into being like the other kids. Poor little guy. On top of it Mommy was having a meltdown and he couldn't figure out why going to the park was such a big deal that day.
I had a long talk with my sister Karla (child psychologist - bonus!) which helped a lot. Developmentally he is just now learning things that most kids learn at ages one and two. He didn't get the stimulation other kids got. He is a smart little cookie AND he's got some serious catching up to do. This weekend we were visiting my friend Sue. Her youngest (Elise) is 1 1/2, and there are about at the same place linguistically and developmentally. So I decided to use her as my reference. I'd never expect Elise to show up for a soccer match and hold still, pay attention, comprehend, etc. So there you have it. Life is good.
We went to visit Grandpa this weekend (Be-Pa) and he was surprised by how much more Joaquin is talking since we last visited him in July. I love getting feedback from other people like this. He is growing a lot physically and parroting others' speech a lot. Note to self: I need to start being more careful about the words that come out of my mouth, especially in traffic. On the way home, we stopped at a Wendy's, and Joaquin literally said hello to everyone at their table as we got up to leave. He is really social, it's fun to see.
New this month - adjectives! Blue bird, brown chair, big truck, red balloon, etc. etc. Also he is singing Twinkle Twinkle almost word for word, as well as the ABC song. It did not dawn on me until this very evening that the tunes are really similar between the two. Who knew? He's also practicing counting on his fingers, and he's got shapes and colors almost mastered. It's fun to watch him light up when he accomplishes something new. His new thing is also using the dustbuster to vacuum up around the house. Let's hope this pleasure for cleaning up is permanent!
Death to Fleas! Over and out.
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