Go Away Mommy!

August has been a really good month. We went to visit aunts, uncles, & cousins in WY and CO end of July and 1st wk of August. We drove out and back in the Honda Civic by ourselves and it went really well. I brought along a portable DVD player and he wasn't very interested, which on the one hand was disappointing and on the other, I'm glad he's not hooked on videos yet. We stopped often, got a great hotel on the way out next to a lake with ducks, and even stopped on the top of the Snowy Range mountain pass in WY to poop - our most beautiful pooping environment to date. He's doing great with potty training and is all there except for overnights.

We stayed with Auntie Shar & Uncle Ron on the new Brush Creek Ranch that Ron manages, and got to spend the first night in their brand new home with them. JCG of course inspected all the light switches, door knobs, etc. and kept himself well entertained. He fell off the bed the first night and slept on a cozy little nest on the floor thereafter! Mom slept much better herself. We ate great food, played in the pasture, threw dirt clods, rode a horse, and took in the beautiful scenery. Words don't even do it justice. Google "brush creek ranch wyoming" if you're interested, they just got the website up and going.

Then we went to Ft. Collins to stay with Tia Karla & Tio Scott, and we got to go to Heidi's baby shower, play with Ethan, Taylor, and Brady and Justin & Shauna's house, play in the best kids playground ever (complete with a big spray fountain for kids) and read books with Karla, and relax. Karla treated Mommy to the equivalent of Christmas - a whole day by myself to get my hair cut, go to the movies, eat out, shop, and go for a long walk. Heaven. If anybody is wondering what to get me for a gift at any time in the future, it would be: time to myself! Joaquin loved the bonding time with the family. He got so excited playing with cousin Ethan (his same age) the first night that he literally peed his pants three times. True story.

It was hard to return to KC. I'm recognizing a pattern. It used to happen before Joaquin came home to me but it happens even more intensely now. In a nutshell, I just so miss being this far away from most of my family. We are very kid-friendly and he is definitely so loved. It's hard to be far away on a regular basis. He is so social and adaptable and remembered everybody from Christmas and Bee-Pa's house in June. I am grateful that we've gotten to see everybody as regularly as we have this first year. JCG asks about Karla and Scott and Ethan on a regular basis, and we talk on the phone, so that helps. Nevertheless, it took a couple of weeks to get back in the groove after we returned.

Joaquin starts with a new lead teacher at his preschool/daycare tomorrow, Ms. Margaret. He knows her well already as all the teachers rotate with students, esp. in the afternoons. I like her, she is no pushover which is great for the four yr old class. JCG already slapped her about 3 months ago when he didn't get his way and she was swift and consistent with his consequences, I liked her a lot from then on! He can be a little pistol, has started whining more, etc. so I'm thinking it's going to be a really good fit right about now.

Lately we have enjoyed dinner out with Chris, Dennis, & Maryann at La Fonda. He is doing better in restaurants, knock wood. He did so well that I treated him to a Mexican Helado, which translates to the most delicious deluxe fruity frozen treat that you can imagine. Both the restaurant and ice cream shop are in the Latino neighborhood of KC, we love to go.

We also got to go to Eli's 3rd birthday party. He proceeded to busy himself with organizing and aligning all the kids trucks and toys outdoors. He's definitely going to be an engineer or scientist or something in that ballpark. Either that or he'll be OCD but frankly he's too laid back in other areas for that. He is all about birthdays right now, he really understands the concept so much better than he did a couple of months ago. His favorite CD is Elmo's Birthday and Games CD; he makes imaginary birthday cakes with his toys in the bathtub almost every night; he sings the birthday song, and the highlight of his life most recently was wearing a birthday hat at Eli's party.

He is a regular parrot these days, imitating much of what goes on around him. In public, he does it a lot under his breath. At home, he shouts it. The other day I found him in the bathroom doing his business (he's getting quite private about those things) and I asked him if he wanted me to stay. "Go Away Mommy!" Fair enough. He does still consistently mispronounce some things, for example:

Shoes & Socks = Shoes Bops
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star = Tinkle
Eggs = Apes

I've been really reflective all month about our one year family birthday coming up. I'm so glad to have the marker that we will have been together one year. It seems like so much longer, and at the same time I'm still wistful about the three years we missed spending together. There are moments when I'm reminded he was definitely in an institutionalized environment, mainly when he is really compliant with things most other kids wouldn't be - taking medicine, following directions, etc. Ah well. We have today together and that's the most important thing.

I couldn't be happier with his transition, with our transition really! I'm noticing as the one-year approaches that I'm needing more time for just me. Actually it's not that I need it anymore than I already have, it's that I'm giving myself permission to do it. I felt really committed to creating a consistent, predictable life for him the first year. I didn't use any babysitters; he only stayed with folks he already knew and was comfortable with. I'm proud of that. And...I'm ready to take care of myself more now as well, ie. independent activities! He is thriving, he loves people, we are totally attached as a family, and he'll be fine branching out with new folks. I got to go dancing once in July and it was wonderful to see my old buddies. Yesterday we went to watch Tia Yamel do Yoga in the Park with a big group of people, and it was one of those moments when I realize there is still a world out there and I still have interests apart from Mommyhood. At the same time, I'm enjoying integrating him into my "old" life, ie. going to the City Market on Saturday mornings, church, shopping, etc. I remember I used to feel so lonely the past couple of years doing those things by myself before he came home. It's fun to have a little buddy. And sometimes he gets on my last nerve! For example, eating out is generally not that enjoyable (for me) yet. My friend Betsey told me one time that having sons is like having mosquitos. As he enters age four, I totally get what she means!

A couple weeks ago, he chose the night we arrived back from CO to totally test the limits on bedtime. He opened his door and slammed it several times, and I chose to ignore it. He kept doing it. I went in and gave him the evil eye, told him to put his head on the pillow, etc. He kept doing it, and my blood pressure kept rising. Finally I went in there and full-on yelled at him, "Joaquin Clayton Gingerich!", and spontaneously added, "no blanket, no Meow Meow!" (Meow Meow is his favorite stuffed dog). A very dramatic moment. He was shocked, just shocked. I was kind of shocked myself, I really didn't think it through. He cried like he lost his best friend (he kind of did) and it hasn't happened since. Approximately twelve years from now I'll be taking away the car keys I guess. I felt bad for yelling at him but soon learned from all my other friends with kids that everybody has stories about "losing it" with their kids. It was comforting. I don't remember every being yelled at to tell you the truth, but then I was spanked, one thing I haven't done and don't plan on, so there you go. I just want to be a "good enough" parent. That's my motto. Nowhere near perfect, just good enough.

I keep thinking I'll write more often, and less for each blog, but it's turning into less often, and more for each blog. Life is good.