Settling In

He is down for a nap and I can't wait to write. First, thanks to everybody for your comments, it's great to read them! Where to begin...the last couple of days we've been exploring the outside world. So many firsts for Joaquin. The one example that crystallizes what the experience is like to watch him discover literally almost everything for the first time happened yesterday. We were walking on a very busy, noisy, street - imagine bicycles, beeping cars, traffic, etc. Suddenly he was clearly afraid, and it took me a second to realize that his fear was the wind blowing across his face; watching the wind blow the weeping willow trees along our path. I just cried and I cry every time I think of it. He had never felt the wind on his face. He has not been outside. Three hours later, he was literally squealing in delight, in a beautiful park, as he watched the breeze in the trees, the birds chirping, had his first ice cream cone, watched little boats sailing on the lake. He also had his first experience with what grass feels like. It is overwhelming to describe what it feels like to watch him we these discoveries. I am so sad for him, my heart just breaks that these are his firsts, and at the same time I am amazed and grateful and in such wonder at how quickly he adapts, how excited he is to learn, how resilient he is. My greatest prayer was that his little soul would not be too damaged after being in the orphanage, that he would learn how to love and to enjoy life. He has surpassed my every wish for him. He is a little tiger. He loves to learn and is so easily pleased. He concentrate on playing with blocks for almost an hour yesterday, just loved it. He was initially terrified of the stroller, thought I was leaving him, and after two hours there he was, just loving the ride. He is a delight. Today he even decided to break out with a mini-tantrum at lunch, watched me like a hawk to see how I'd react. This is a good sign to me, he is starting to test the waters and that is no small risk.

Here's the thing about China. I love being in Taiyuan, walking along the street. It is a reunion for me with the "real" China. Countless people notice us, and walk straight up to ask what the story is. Is he my "little friend?" Is my husband Chinese? Does he speak Chinese or English? What's the story? Also, there are "aunties" and "grandma's" who do not hesitate to come up and let us know that under no conditions should he be wearing short pants, don't you remember it rained yesterday? (Keep in mind it is about 75 degrees out, warm by western standards). There is one woman in particular that I believe has parked herself outside our hotel, waiting for us to come out so she can chit chat and offer her advice. Almost without exception people are very happy to learn I've adopted him, and his birth parents "were very bad people" including expletives. I love these moments. The hotel staff is phenomenal, everybody just wants to make sure he's getting what he needs. Children are so treasured in China in general as a rule; I remember when I was here the first time I knew that the sure way for me to start connecting with people was to admire their kids and make a big fuss over them. This is happening now with us. Here's the downside. If he is the slightes bit fussy I feel there are 15 pairs of eyes on me, making sure I respond appropriately. Today at lunch we walked in the door of the restaurant, way too many waitresses, and I knew we were in for a bumpy ride. I think Joaquin can feel this and he started getting fussy. Having Sarah along helps so much at those moments. She totally normalizes the whole experience of children being tired, fussy, etc. which counteracts all the aunties and grandmas.

He just woke up so I'll stop for now.