Monday, June 28, 2010

What's In a Name?

This month, Joaquin seems to be all about names. One day he asked, "Mommy, what's your name?" I told him it was Karen. He gave me a very contemplative look, and said, "hmmmm, Karen Gingerich." Fascinating. Sometimes he will now call across the house, "Hey Karen!" I explained that he is the only one that gets to call me Mommy, because it is his special name for me. He seemed to like that too.

Another day, he said, "Hey, M!" I didn't understand what he meant. He pointed to himself and said, "Me, J, you M." Get it, Mom?

Last time we went to visit Grandpa, J seemed as attached to him as ever. We left to drive back home at about 6:30 a.m. J wept, and clearly did not want to leave Grandpa for the first time. After he was buckled in his seat, he asked if Grandpa would come hug him one more time before we left. It was a touching moment I won't forget.

J is using more colloquial speech all the time. One night when I put him to bed he said, "o.k. Mom, have a good time, goodnight."

J will be five this week. In honor of this, I bought him a bike, which he got to start riding early as I forgot I put it in the trunk of the car, and subsequently opened the trunk in his presence. He seems to be kind of hot and cold with the whole thing. One thing I have to keep reminding myself to do as a parent is to let him explore new things at his own pace. So, we'll run over to the park across the street with me carrying his bike and helmet, he'll "ride" it once or twice for about 10 ft, insisting I hold onto the steering wheel - mind you, it does have training wheels - then he's off to the playground. Done. Then I schlepp it back across the street. Just another intense workout for the two of us.

I am ready for some vacation time! We'll go see Grandpa and Aunt Karla in Iowa this week to celebrate his birthday. Next week is a tentative camping trip that may just be cancelled as the campground flooded, after that we are off to Chicago for a long weekend with my best girlfriends from graduate school, after that our annual sojourn to Colorado for a few days. We are ready to hit the road. I'm hoping J begins to become more interested in the portable DVD player that I bought for these occasions. Last summer he was all about the buttons and not about the show. Sometimes a little video can be just the thing when you need a babysitter and I don't mind copping to the truth on that one.

Last weekend we had a lot of fun going down to Crown Center in KC with Allison & Stella, Ann, Owen, & Eli. Kansas City is definitely a good town for kids, lots of free activities. We got to see a big Clifford the Big Red Dog exhibit, play in a big sprinkler system with hundreds of other kids, go to a fundraiser and have all-you-can-eat ice cream and jungle gym fun. Your basic heavenly day for a child.

Mommy's heavenly fun was getting to go dancing on Sunday afternoon with old friends from my salsa dancing crowd. They called and nudged me to come - I hadn't been dancing in a year, how can that be? It was so good to reconnect and to know that grown-ups are still out there, I can still integrate back into the dancing community. As J starts school in the fall and my daycare budget is freed up, I plan to get babysitters a bit more often than I do now and schedule in Mommy dancing time. It's true what they say; when I take care of me I am a better parent. This is a lesson I learn repeatedly.

It is good timing for J to start school full time. He's ready, well-adjusted, and needs to be with peers more. I think he gets bored sometimes with just me and/or other grownups. At the same time, the thought of it brings a lump to my throat. He's ready to have his own life now. I am so grateful for my job, for having 3-4 days a week to spend solely with him the past two years. A lot of parents don't get that luxury. I'm glad I didn't use a lot of sitters, especially that first year I just wanted him to have a very predictable, consistent transition to his new life. It was great for both of us in our attachment to each other. We're buddies. And I'm looking forward to the next phase too. I feel like I'll "never" get to see him when he's in school five days; at the same time, it's time. I look forward to a day to myself each week. I hardly know what I'll do with myself. Actually, I've already started a huge list. I plan to balance the list with self-indulgence, tee hee.

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