Sunshine Sleeping

About a week ago, in the car on the way home after dark, JCG pointed to the moon and said, "Mommy, moon. Sunshine sleeping." He is starting to speak conceptually now, it's exciting. His teacher said he was "babbling" today all day. When I got to school, he started reciting what he had done today: "snack, stretch & grow, poopy potty Mommy."

I like his new speech therapist. We are working on stretching from two and three words to longer sentences. "Mommy, go Miss Janae's house." I am giving words to everything he's doing now, like a running color commentary. I got that little tidbit from his speech therapist. We're also using photo flashcards with simple scenes. "What are they doing?" He then has to practice describing the details. His attention span is in and out but is getting better. His energy level in general is wearing me out some days. It feels like he's doing the exploring that two and three year olds do at this point. We are definitely straddling different developmental levels simultaneously. His language buddies are one and two year olds. Physically, he's right about where four year olds are. Temperament-wise, he's testing the limits like two and three year olds do. He's a smart one. I wish I could say I was more patient than I actually am most days, and I'm learning not to be so hard on myself. Gradually.

Last night we were reading books. He first picked a book called "The Red Blanket" about a mom who adopts a little girl from China. Our friends Kim & Luke got it for him. He loves that book, I don't know if he associates it with his own experience yet, but he loves it that the mommy goes on an airplane and gets the baby at an orphanage and gives it a soft red blanket when the baby cries. So I took out the book I created for him about our adoption journey, and we walked through it. It clearly means something to him now. He used to whiz through it for the pictures but I don't think it meant much. I feel like he's starting to put the pieces together. After this book, he picked yet another book about a baby being adopted from China, "I Love You Like Baby Cakes." This one was given to me by my dear friend Sue when I was early into the adoption process. I remember reading it and wondering if our adoption would ever really happen. Now here I sit reading it with my little guy. It was exciting for me to see him light up as well, this is a new story line for him. I chuckle at the part in both books when they basically say that the mommies wrote a letter asking permission for a baby and another letter came right back saying yes. Riiiigggghhhhtttt. Tonight he asked for the same trio of books and we did it all again. "China!" he said.

I am really looking forward to having conversations with him, I can't wait. I feel like we are just on the cusp of it, certainly within a few months.

Every night before bed I tell him I love him in English and then I follow it in Chinese, "Mama loves you." It dawned on me tonight that this is a way to honor his birth mother too, we are both telling him goodnight. I feel her spirit the way I feel my own mother's spirit. Circle of life. The emotions never stop with this experience, though they continue to catch me by surprise. It feels sacred.